Gma Inman and Gpa Inman Messages 12-3-23

 Grandma Inman--Herbal Tarot

8 of Cups (Gravel Root)

A need to step outside of the usual emotional attachments in order to understand a more essential, personal source of emotional renewal. Honoring the need for time detached from the usual connections regardless of how supportive they may be.

Fool (Ginseng)

Making friends with the void. What is worth carrying into a new phase? What do I need to feel optimistic about leaving behind the known without having a firm footing in the future? Following my nose or knowing what the right scent to follow is. What scents will help uplift me?

6 of Wands (Hawthorne)

A new arena in which I'm a natural, that's familiar and in which I'll succeed.

Together I think they're saying that only after I find a method of emotional renewal will I have the courage and optimism to take risks. I have no idea what the arena of activity referred to in the 6 of Wands could be.

Extension: 

Empress/7 of P/Star

It's appropriate to make use of the generosity of my mother because her resources are a more collective resource than I realize and because they give her hope...

Tower/5 of C/Judgment

...that I will be ready to help them when there is need.

To be honest, I don't think I'll be able to be that much help because of my health but certainly there's no chance of my helping if I'm too bound up here.

On a whim, I pulled a Black Angel card and received a message about having faith and trusting in the unseen. This deck makes it more clear that I need to shift away from spending my time and energy on making money and instead focus on what it will take to be more involved with family, which means figuring out how to pave a way forward. Even when it feels like spending Mom and Dad's money is all about me, it's not. It's about our final days as a family.

Grandpa Inman--Tarot Illuminati

Princess of Sw/Ace of Sw/7 of W

Use your head and clear the deck.

9 of P/9 of Sw/Lovers

Worry less about myself or money and more about my parents.

Hermit/Moon/World

I need to forge ahead regardless of uncertainty. It may take a year for things to come to fruition.

I tried asking about how the housing situation will resolve itself and didn't get a response that made any sense. It is apparently the Moon in the set above.

Gma & Gpa Pearson Message 12-3-23

Herbcrafters Tarot

4 of Earth--Willow (basket construction)

• Creating a base frame on which to cumulatively build a complete structure.
• Planning to be sure to have all of the supplies for steady progress.
• Planning the stages of the process so I know where to pick up again if there's an interruption.

I think this refers to seeking housekeeping and pet care help. It is also generally good advice for anything I'm doing.

5 of Earth--Slippery Elm (sapling needing protection and support)

• "You have what it takes to survive a crisis."
• "The home is old and in need of repair but is sturdy."
• "Alienation from your support structure compounds an issue."
• "Create a warm and comfortable place to hole up until your situation improves."

This clearly refers to my home and encourages doing repairs on it and making it more comfortable until it's time for me to sell it.

3 of Earth--Raspberries (3 full baskets)

• "Teamwork multiplies productivity."
• "Trust your leadership and organizing skills."
• "Approach people with clear expectations and agreements."
• Direct skills toward something you will enjoy in the end.
• Being stronger and happier together.
  

This could apply to either pet help or home help all of which are directed toward bringing me into contact more frequently with family. There's mention that raspberry canes don't produce fruit until the second year so I should expect this process to take some time.

Surrender Cards 12-2-23

NEW DIRECTION

Surrender to Receiving Support and Love

Stop trying to handle everything myself. Allow the help of others to take the pressure off and allow me to feel nurtured.

In practical terms this means getting home care help and possibly leaving US Chess or taking a leave of absence so I can focus on seeing parents and taking care of myself.

PHASE ONE

Surrender the Habit of People Pleasing

It's significant that this continues to come up. Focus on my own happiness is the key message. 

Who will I inconvenience if I prioritize my own happiness and why am I unwilling to inconvenience them? In what way will I inconvenience them?

PHASE TWO

Surrender Your Addictions

I'm working on this and am making progress. I think I need a better understanding of what holes the addictions are filling and what would better fill them.

PHASE THREE

Surrender to Success

I need to define what would be success for me at this time and do what I can to employ others to help me get it. It clearly is not monetary success or work success, so what success is it going to be and which things need to go for the new success to come into being

What to be grateful for 12-2-23

Divine Circus

Her Wicked Ways--Comfortable in Winter

Yes, the winter is a break for me physically, though I don't know why. Speaking of the weather more generally, it has finally rained enough to cause puddles for the first time in months. I'm also grateful to have a secure home and all the clothes needed to get through the seasons.

Ra! Ra! Ra!--Elaborate Ideas/Ambition

Maybe this should be in reverse. I'm still in simplifying mode and am doing fairly well progressively letting complex projects fall by the wayside or be on indefinite pause. My absence is not particularly missed, which is all the more reason to continue on my current path.

Gypsy Columbine--Explore your eccentricity

This is the beauty of living alone.

Majestic Earth Celtic Cross Spread 12-2-23

1. Situation--Hierophant's Domain

• A desire to do the right thing, especially regarding elders.

2. Present influence--Spirit of Stone

• Stability, but also distance and obstacles. Things set in stone can make goals seem impossible. I need to learn to fly to overcome the distance and obstacles--or to plan a longer timeline.
• This combined with the Hierophant hints at a spirtual journey or trial.

3. Card representing me--Rider of Trees

• Yes, the need for travel and swift action, which I'm not really capable of these days. Maybe this represents what I want to be true.
  

4. Recent past--8 of Clouds

• Waylaid, shipwrecked, stuck in the ice of my body. The ice is breaking up but I need a crew to sail the ship.

5. Desired outcome of situation--9 of Stone

• To be master of my destiny, stable, without the need for travel, to be more permanently and comfortably ensconced in one location.

6. Entering influence--Rider of Water

• Emotionally adrift or lackadaisical. No desire to move beyond my local environment. Feeling foggy and unfocused.

7. Trending outcome--5 of Water

• A time of grounded isolation. Not being able to pull off a Rider of Trees save of the situation.

8. Bridge between present (center) and trending outcome (northeast of center)--4 of Water

• Love where I'm at. Be patient with myself and my process.

9. Bridge between desired outcome (top) and trending outcome (right of top)--10 of Stone

• Allow the financial help of parents. Or again appreciate what I have even if it's not as grand as the past.

Overall this set of cards strike me as showing the benefits and disadvantages of stability. It would be best and would make me happy if I didn't have to go anywhere for the holidays but there currently isn't any way for me to resolve that situation. This reading and this deck don't offer solutions.

Being busy and spending money

 In large measure, it's just as well that I didn't end up traveling for Thanksgiving. I felt well enough on Thanksgiving day, Friday, and Saturday to get some things done around the house.

I finally got the three of the big bins out of the living room and took the two glassed end tables to the Mission store. I love how it has opened up the living room to something more normal. I still have two bins in there to decide on and one of the bins removed from the living room is sitting on a kitchen table because it needs to be repacked. I've ordered bubble wrap for that purpose.

I also had enough time to do shop online for a twin bed and mattress. Mom had invited me to help spend some money. I'll spend some on home maintenance/improvement but I also need to make my home more livable until I move and to allow for more storage space for boxed items.

I also attacked another box of books and got rid of all of them that were large because my hands can't deal with large books anymore.

Finally, I brushed dogs, clipped their nails, swept the kitchen, got rid of the roach bait (this was the year of the roach in my house for some reason) and vacuumed the living room (which I find so much more taxing than sweeping a floor). I discovered that Ginger has a nasty wound on her neck. I put triple antibiotic ointment on it but may have to take her to the vet. It appeared to have proud flesh developing around it. I wonder if it's related to the fight with Zippy and whether it's the spot where her large wart was. It was a large crusty wart that grew quickly then stagnated. I hadn't noticed it in a while. Lordy.

Today, Sunday, I crashed. I was really dragging and didn't get up (except for feeding animals) until late afternoon.

November Catch Up

Had my hair cut short. Mom was the only one who had anything to say about it even though I informed the whole family and included pictures. She was positive. Amy eventually responded but only regarding other topics.

Zippy lit into Ginger and appears to have drown blood in at least one place on her neck, possibly two. I didn't initially find those spots but a day or so later I felt places that seemed like dried blood in her fur. I suspect Zippy jumped out the doggy door and hit Ginger in a way that hurt her and so she objected and then Zippy went insane. It took both me and Boo to break it up. Even the next day, Zippy was doing a dominance dance around Ginger but came away when I called her. I waited another day or two and then they appeared to be fine. This incident had me looking into behavioral euthanasia. I think on one offense it's not fair but I could see doing it in the future. Ginger is a really inoffensive dog so attacking her with the intensity that Zippy did, which absolutely requires defense from Ginger, highlights that she's just not right. It underscores that I can't take her up to parents unless Lucy is out of the picture. Even then I question it. If Zippy starts something with one of the big dogs, which she will undoubtedly try at some point, it could trigger a fight between the two big dogs, which would be bad. So that's what I'm looking at: if I move in with a remaining parent, I will need to put Zippy down or have a way to keep her separate.

Leah is not willing to drive up to take care of animals. Only if she can stay overnight does it make sense to her. I'm not surprised and can't blame her, but it's even more house-cleaning for me in preparation to go and she has had bladder problems in which she has wet her bed, so I don't think that's the best idea. I then made other calls to vet staff and etc and no suggestions. I'll need to create a poster to put up in some vet offices or advertise in the paper or on facebook, which means creating an application because I'm not going to accept just anyone coming into my home. I asked a neighbor who had been out walking his dog but he wasn't able to talk well, which made me question if he would be able to understand instructions. I realized that my pets are more complicated than they used to be and that one of the medications is a pain-killer that an unscrupulous pet-sitter might want to steal. So it's all more complicated than I'd hoped it would be. I'm continuing to make some calls but I have little faith in word of mouth at this point. 

It has also made me realize what an obstacle house cleaning is for me in terms of getting out of the house, so I need to also search for a regular house cleaner. Once I get a regular house cleaner and a regular pet sitter/helper, I may be able to visit parents more often.

Mother has gotten her dividend check and wants me to help her spend it by doing home repairs to get my house ready for sale. I'll do some but she doesn't understand how much stuff costs or how little in return I'll get out of the expense. I may see if she's willing to have it spent on making me more comfortable, like getting a twin bed and comfortable chair/recliner or daybed.

House and shadow pics from the past couple of days: