Good-bye Rufus

 On Monday of this week (this being Friday), Jamie, Rufus's current owner, let me know that Rufus had bitten a male friend of hers on the face. On Tuesday I talked to her to better assess how serious the situation was. It was very serious, a level 4 bite to the man's nose while he was petting Rufus that required 10 stitches. I researched on youtube about dog bites and learned that if a dog does what Rufus did, it's an act of aggression not defensive or a warning. After realizing that, I could see no way to make taking him back work for me. I'm already missing two family holidays this year because I can't find someone to help with my pets. How could I ask someone to watch a big dog with a bite history? I couldn't. How do I ask a groomer to groom him even with a muzzle? I don't think he would accept a muzzle well. It would be an extra source of anxiety. I couldn't take him to live with parents. Both of their faces are at his level. Though I'm marginally better than when I let Rufus go, I'm just now, like in the last week, getting a grip on my home environment--and not completely at that. Re-introducing Rufus--even without the bite--would tip things back into a level of labor that I couldn't keep up with. 

And Jamie has two children. Though they're not always with her, muzzling Rufus will just agitate him when they're around. I've long had the attitude that if a dog bites, it should be put down and let a dog that doesn't bite fill that space in the home. I gave Jamie the support to put him down and she did this morning. 

Part of me was continuously second guessing myself and Jamie, but in the end we are two pet owners. We're not looking for dogs we have to continually be drill sergeants with or where we constantly have to be aware of potential triggers. Our pets are supposed to augment our lives not stress them continuously. Together we had done everything we could to help him overcome a bad start. It didn't work. 

Knowing that he is gone, the decision over, the deed done, leaves me with greater peace. Lots of regrets but there's nothing more that can be done. No more pets after this batch is gone. My mental and emotional health don't need the stress. I don't need the extra cleaning, decision-making, health management, purchases.